She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
