we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
