Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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