the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize
