i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize