im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Holy shit dude........stairs
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
