Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
