with your own penis?
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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