mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
