did you get engaged???
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
