got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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