Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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