i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
