I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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