dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
