I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
