You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize