Pants 0. Shit 1.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
