We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
