Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
