I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
