I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
