dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
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