I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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