how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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