I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
