i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I fill condoms, not promises.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
