It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
