Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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