I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
this boner is exhausting
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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