You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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