his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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