no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
