I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
