walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
