shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
