He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
