we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
So apparently I’m into choking now
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
