Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize