whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
