evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
