Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
