I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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