I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
