Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
