is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
He did a backflip because drugs
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
