i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
