Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
you would pick up someone in the library
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Randomize
