ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
then he tried to convert me to islam
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Randomize
