If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
