I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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