My hand turned me down
where does the pee come out of this thing
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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