So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Randomize
