You smell like a Billy Joel song
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Randomize
