ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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