what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
