Dual....:-)
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
