cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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