she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
